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Monday, November 14, 2011

I don't even know

At my work, we are required to "badge in" every day - this basically means we wave a security badge in front of a sensor near the door, the door magically opens for us like in some crazy CIA movie, and we are allowed to enter the building so we can stare at spreadsheets and attend meetings for several hours. Not that my employer does any crazy top-secret work - just when you have a bajillion employees and multiple offices there's no way the desk security agents can recognize each employee.

This week, I forgot my security badge not once, not twice, but three times. Thrice, if you will. The first time, the security agent just nodded pulled my employee ID number up in the system and let me through. The second time, he laughed, shook his head, and joked that I kept forgetting my badge so I could continue having riveting conversations with him and I was all "oh haha, no I'm just ridiculously forgetful" (fact).

The third time he longer amused - probably because I was so embarassed that I tried to sneak past him and ride the wave of someone else's badge (against company rules btw) and he totally caught me. Out loud, he said "Ma'm do you have your badge today?" but his eyes said "Seriously. Again??" He even made me take a temporary "visitor" badge, probably to shame me into remembering. Luckily, it was Friday and I had the entire weekend to get my shit together and regain my dignity.

The problem was, I ventured away from my system. I'll fully acknowledge that I am probably the most forgetful person ever, and have many systems and mechanisms to prevent me from losing all sorts of important things. I always put my credit cards, drivers license, passport etc. in the same place in my wallet. All of my keys (including car keys) are attached to a lanyard with several keychains that is so massive there's literally no way I could be without it and not notice. My mechanic told me it's bad for my car's key...ignition...thing (yes...) to have that much weight on it, but I explained that without that lanyard I probably couldn't function normally.

My dad is convinced I just don't try hard enough to remember things -but after 28 years of life, I know better...this is just how my brain works. No matter how hard I try to change, I will always be an extremely forgetful person, which is why I've developed random and sometimes inconvenient tools to prevent me from forgetting important stuff.

My security badge always goes in my purse as I leave work. Always. But last Tuesday, I left it clipped to my belt loop and it ended up on the futon in our second bedroom. Where it stayed for the remainder of the week. Such is life. As soon as I got home on Friday, put the badge in my purse, and this morning I walked proudly into work with my head held high, plastic laminated ID badge gleaming in the sun. I'm back, bitches.

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