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Friday, March 4, 2011

Let the nightmares begin....

It happened on Wednesday night. My first wedding nightmare. I had no idea such things existed until it happened, and then I was reading through the archives of another favorite blog, The Daily Garnish, and author Emily mentioned HER first wedding nightmare so apparently it's like, a thing....
It's understandable that wedding nightmares exist - after all, it's a very stress-inducing situation with a lot of anxiety and expectations around it. Everyone wants their wedding to be perfect, but no wedding ever is and that's what makes them fun. One of my mom's friends recently told her that what you really remember from your wedding day are all of the funny things that went wrong.

For example, the only story that comes to mind when I think of my parents' wedding is how one of my dad's friends got beat up cowboys at this hole-in-the-wall bar in Red Lodge Montana after the reception, and the whole wedding party ended up hiding the hotel as these guys drove around looking for them to...finish settling the disagreement I guess.

Anyways, the basic premise of my nightmare was that my wedding happened this week. Somehow, all these balls got rolling and the next thing I knew we were at the church, my hair and makeup weren't done (but somehow I was wearing my dress and my photographer was there), and the ceremony happened and then it was all over. I told my mom we HAD to get the July 9 date back because this wasn't how I wanted it to happen at ALL, and she was like "well, I don't think it's really realistic to have two weddings." This made me very upset.

I think the most interesting thing about nightmares is that they tell you a lot about what is really important to you. Obviously even in the dream I was happy that Ben and I were married - but to be honest, the thing that I'm excited for with Ben is the relationship and the marriage, which are and will be awesome independently of the wedding. What the wedding really represents, for me, is a chance to share that excitement with all of my friends and family and to celebrate our future with everyone we care about. What upset me in the dream wasn't that we didn't have flowers, or cupcakes, or that my hair and makeup weren't done (I actually remember thinking I looked quite awesome in my dream-pictures) - it was that the whole thing had gone down without any of the people I really wanted to be there, and now that gathering would not happen.

It took me a good 20 minutes after waking up to realize that the dream wasn't real, I was not married, and everything with the wedding would go forward as planned. But still, an interesting insight into my wedding-psyche.

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