Going Where I Have to Go

Wow...it has been a busy couple of weeks. I don't think I realized just how crazy things were going to get when Ben and I both started working 45+ hours a week, but that's just how life goes I guess. Between trying to get to yoga as much as possible, taking care of the kitty, and those weeknight social events taht keep popping up, we've had our hands full. Luckily, we're getting away for the weekend and heading to our favorite B&B in Lake Mills, Wisconsin. Friday afternoon can't get here fast enough!

My biggest regret in being so busy is that I haven't made it up to my parents house since the leaves started to change. My parents live near a lake in the woods, and they always have the most gorgeous fall colors... I love hanging out there in the fall, chatting with my mom and watching post-season baseball with my dad. Hopefully some night next week, or next weekend I'll make this happen...

Taken in my parents neighborhood, photo from http://vanbeusekom.us/

I'm also teaching my first yoga class tonight! I'm a little nervous about this because (ssshh) I haven't taken a teacher training yet... but I have taken the 100-hour Anusara Immersion and have studied the teacher-training manual quite thoroughly.

Obviously I'm not going to start teaching willy-nilly without getting some sort of certification, and honestly I'm not even sure I want to be a yoga teacher, but my friend Laura who normally teachers our small pre-choir yoga class is traveling this week and asked if I would be willing to sub. Of course I said yes! The students are all friends from choir, so I'm sure they will be forgiving if my sequencing is not perfect :) Over lunch I'm going to work on putting together the ultimate yoga playlist.

For some reason I just haven't felt like myself these last couple of days - maybe it's because I haven't been sleeping well. Who knows. I think what I'm realizing (not that I didn't know this before) is that we never have all the answers in life. Even when outwardly it might look like we have it all together and are on the right path, something inside us will always be questioning what our real purpose in the world is. Or maybe it's just where I am right now.

Back when I was teaching music to little kids, I remember saying to my boss: "I can't believe you're seriously paying me to do this." I was having so much fun, I honestly felt guilty depositing my paycheck. I don't feel that way now - and I'm making about three times what I was making as a teacher at a non-profit.

Don't get me wrong - I am so greatful for all of the blessings I have in my life. If I could have any corporate job, I would want it to be this one. I am thankful to have an employer that cares so much about its employees, and a job where I genuinely feel like the work I do makes a meaningful, positive impact in people's lives.

I am thankful that I don't need a second job to make ends meet; that I can afford the yoga classes and workshops I love so much; that I don't need to stress about the cost of ordering a glass of wine with dinner; that I can travel to amazing places with my husband. I love my life and am so, so blessed. But there are some things I miss from my pre-MBA days.

So, what is the answer? I don't really know. What I do know is that my path will continue to evolve and take shape, and that where I am right now is exactly where I am supposed to be.

I learn by going where I have to go ~ Theodore Roethke

Sometimes, the obstacles on the path, are the path.