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Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Diaries of a Cat Lady

Both of my parents are out of town this week, and with my sister in Australia I've been given sole responsibility for keeping their cat Maggie alive while they are gone.  Since my parents live about 40 minutes from both my work and my home, it's just not realistic to drive up there and back every night, so I am staying there for a few days.  Living alone with cat is a great opportunity for me to hone my cat-lady skills, such as watching TV late into the night, being afraid of the dark, and baking brownies and eating them all myself.

Mini is with me too.  I hoped she would keep Maggie company and that they would form a deep and beautiful friendship, but those hopes are quickly waning.  There is probably a 10-inch radius outside of which Mini's presence is perfectly tolerable to Maggie.  But, as soon as that boundary is breached the gloves come off.

Their interactions go pretty much like this:  Mini wants to play.  Maggie is nearby and therefore a potential best friend.  Perky and hopeful, Mini approaches Maggie all "hey let's play a gaaaaaaaaaaame you're my new BFF and I luv youuuu!!"  In response Maggie hisses and chases her for a good 20 feet before slinking off to sit atop her scraching post perch. 

Plez for 2 cuddle?

Bitch, please
 Mini lives in a special world of rainbows and does not understand the concept of rejection, so tries to follow Maggie and the whole cycle repeats itself.  Sometimes a sparkly fuzzy ball is involved in their disputes.

I would have thought Maggie would be a little more understanding, since she spent most of her youth being rejected by our old cat Sierra.  Sierra clearly wanted nothing to do with Maggie, but Maggie was young and naive and idolized her.  Sometimes Sierra would cave in and cuddle with Maggie, but mostly she treated her like an annoyance and avoided her at all costs.

It's like at the school Ben taught at in India, where the seniors had a tradition of hazing the freshmen by making them dress up in ridiculous costumes for an entire day.  The freshman would hated it, and would solemnly vow that when it was their turn as seniors they would be nice to the new freshman and end the cycle.  But they wouldn't, and everything would continue as normal.

Since I anthropromorphize my pets to a ridiculous degree (Sidney occasionally has a British accent FYI) I've decided that this is what happened with Maggie.  However, Sierra was old and sick and crabby, and Maggie has no such excuse.  Shame on you, Maggie.  I expected more.

Wee Maggie and Sierra, in a rare cuddle moment


The last couple of nights, I've made the mistake of trying to let the cats sleep with me.  This has resulted in the following:
      - Mini snuggling with me while purring loudly in my face and forming a big puddle
        of drool on my t-shirt.
      - Maggie howling like she was dying, prompting me to wake up in concern.  She
        was not dying, as it turns out.  She just wanted attention and couldn't find me.
      - Waking up to find Maggie standing on my stomach and staring down at me while I
      - Maggie suddenly deciding she didn't want Mini in the room anymore, and that the
        best solution was to chase her out, then hide behind the half-open door and stealth
        pounce her every time she tried to enter.
Eventually, I just locked them both out in frustration.  I'm not sure what it is about my kitties that makes me want to snuggle with them every night, even though I know sleeping will be impossible and I will deeply regret my decision in the morning.

Speaking of sleep, it is my bedtime, because cat ladies go to bed at 10:30.  well, ideally this cat lady would have gone to bed by 10 but then she decide to write a blog.  About cats.  OK I'll quit while I'm ahead.



  1. It is interesting to me that Mini was supposed to be British and Sidney was supposed to be a goofy little mutt; now Mini is goofy and Sidney is ironic.

  2. I love staying in my parents big ass house haha, I just love the extra space :)

    1. I kind of love it, but it also kind of creeps me out! My parents live in the middle of nowhere, so it's gorgeous during the day, and pitch black and completely silent at night. Every time the house settles I'm convinced it is a serial killer. Good thing I have the kitties to snuggle!


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