Quiz: Which Twin Cities grocery store should you shop at?

The other day as I was reading blogs during lunch, I was inspired by Eden's grocery-store quiz to come up with one of my own.  I realized while reading hers that many grocery-store behaviors may be regionally specific, or even specific to certain areas of town, and that my Trader Joe's shopper may be quite different from yours.  As such, this is a very Minneapolis-focused quiz.  Enjoy!

1) When do you usually do your grocery shopping?
    a. At 3pm on Saturday, or basically whenever the masses decide to venture to the store.
    b. Whenever.  I refuse to work for the man and have a non-traditional/artsy job or am
        a student, so I shop at random times.
    c. 2am on a Tuesday, cause I'm drunk and want pizza.
    d. One of two options:  1 - I don't, my nanny does that for me while I'm at work
        making 6 figures.  2 - Anytime, cause my significant other/spouse is at work making
        6 figures.

2) When I go grocery shopping, my mood is usually:
    a. I am stressed out and ready to kill some bitches.  In the parking lot, in line, in the
        frozen foods section, wherever.  If you come between me and my 10 boxes of cereal
        or the last parking spot, prepare to die.
    b. Kind of spacy.  I tend to wander aimlessly about the produce section, making sure to
        tell all the other customers that the grapes here are THE BOMB.
    c. Meh.
    d. I pretend I'm in no hurry, but really I'm pissed that you are walking so slowly. I am
        totally better than you anyways.

3) When I go to the store, I am usually wearing:
    a. Jeans and a sweater or sweatshirt
    b. Whatever the hipsters are wearing.  Most likely got it at a vintage store (or at Urban
        Outfitters, but I'll still say it's vintage if anyone asks)
    c. The same sweatpants I've been wearing all day and probably slept in last night
    d. Clothes that make me look like a hobo but actually cost $5,000.  Or hipster-ish
        clothes that an actual hipster could never afford.

4) I drive a:
    a. Modestly priced 4-door sedan or small SUV.
    b. Old beat-up VW
    c. Old beat-up anything
    d. Prius.  Or BMW.

5) In line, I:
    a. Don't care if you have to wait behind me while I make the only cashier in this line
        bag my 5,000 items.  I was here first bitch.  And now I will go home and feed my
        family of 5 and dog.
    b. Strike up a conversation about how AMAZING this local organic milk is.
    c.  Have no problem going through the self-checkout with an entire cart full of groceries,
        even if I have no clue how to use the machine.  If not using the self-checkout, I am
        probably old and will pay with a check.
    d. Talk on my cell phone.

Mostly A's - Apparently you have a massochistic streak because you love shopping at Trader Joe's!  You, brave soul, are willing to face poorly designed parking lots and murderous soccer moms just to score a good deal on some frozen Channa Masala, hummus, and $4 Chardonnay.  Good for you!  Just try not to go on a Saturday afternoon because you may not live to tell the tale.

These people have clearly learned their lesson.
source:www.pugetsoundblogs.com

Mostly B's - Congratulations, you shop at The Wedge!  You probably have a couple of tattoos, love yoga and 89.3 the current, and can mysteriously afford all kinds of organic and local produce even though you are a grad student living in a studio apartment.  And just FYI, it's OK that you shop at Urban Outfitters.  Just make sure to put on deodorant before you start trying on clothes.

Don't forget your bike!
source: www.seriouseats.com

Mostly C's - You, my friend, are a Rainbow Foods shopper.  You don't really care whether your produce is organic or your meat free range, because let's face it, you're pretty much here for the potato chips and hot pockets anyway.  You keep doing your thing, but please leave the self-checkout for those who are actually competent at using it.

"Let's try that newfangled self check out line!"
stock image...hence the large X through it

Mostly D's - You shop at Whole Foods.  During the day you make billions of dollars getting your guilty clients off by finding loopholes in the legal system, or figuring out how to deny someone insurance coverage because of a "pre-existing condition" (being left-handed is a pre-existing condition right??) but it's cool because you give a ton of money to Save the Dolphins or some shit.  You are the epitome of Minnesota Nice, and will smile benevolently at me while secretly judging me for the contents of my grocery cart as you tell me about your life-changing journey to an Ashram in India.  Don't lie to me.  It was a resort on St. Lucia but whatever.

www.justlooking.recursion.org

Obviously I am not one to judge.  I shop at the Wedge all the time and my stereotype of a Wedge shopper is pretty descriptive of me, except that a) I don't dress like a hipster or have any tattoos, and b) I am no longer a student and am drawing an actual salary that helps me to afford my organic produce.

My main experience with Rainbow Foods comes from the Lake and Emerson Rainbow.  And yes, I have been there for drunk hot pockets at 3am several times.  And I am seriously convinced that Trader Joe's (at least the ones in St. Louis Park and St. Paul) purposely design their parking lots just to mess with everyone.

Um, no.

So I mentioned that Monday is my six month anniversary.  One thing you should know about the wedding industry is that once they have your contact info, they never, ever leave you alone.  Ever.

Sometimes this is fun, as when you are invited to a fashion gala (with free drinks and food) at your bridal shop.  Sometimes, this means you receive endless e-mails from wedding websites that you no longer want anything to do with.

Yesterday I received an e-mail from The Knot (http://www.theknot.com/).  We signed up for The Knot solely for the purpose of creating a wedding website, where we could store all of the details of our registry, hotel details, times of various things etc.  The subject line of the e-mail read "It's Been 6 Months Since Your Wedding..."

"How nice," I thought.  "A congratulations e-mail."  But instead, I opened up the message to find....this.


"Get knocked up already, so we can send you more e-mails"


Because I've been married for about half a second, I obviously want nothing more than to pop a few midgets out of my uterus, so instead of "hey, congratulations you made it through the first six months of wedded bliss!" I get "Why the F&%$ aren't you making babies yet?"

Well, The Knot...I'll tell you why.  It's because we are in absolutely no hurry to have a baby anytime soon.  We love that we can go out to dinner, yoga, a movie or a concert without having to worry about finding a sitter.  Our list of places we want to travel is at least a mile long.  And honestly, right now we're having a great time just being married, and savoring being together after two years when our version of a "dinner date" was usually just eating at the same time while on skype. 

My parents waited eight years before they had me, and still say it was the best decision they ever made because it gave them time to establish their relationship and have fun together, and create a great space into which to bring a child.

I was thinking about this a lot while brushing my teeth last night - for whatever reason, I have a lot of deep and profound thoughts in front of the bathroom sink - and I started to wonder why our culture seems to have such a problem with just being happy where you are.  What is it that makes us feel like we need to be constantly moving towards the next bigger and better thing?

In my Anusara class, our teacher has been talking a lot about staying.  As hard as it is to move forward, sometimes it is harder to just stay - in the moment, on the mat, in your practice, in your relationship.

A few months ago in a hot vinyasa class at a different studio, we did a sequence moving from Figure Four, to a forward fold with the same leg position, and then to the arm balance Eka Pada Galavasana.  I was in the forward fold with my hands and the floor ready to move into the arm balance, when the teacher said: "Before you move into the arm balance, ask yourself why you are going there.  In this case, the arm balance might actually be the easier option."

Eka Pada is the more "advanced" pose, but that doesn't mean it was the most advanced thing to do in this situation.  I asked myself if I wanted to go into the arm balance because it was where my real work needed to happen, or whether I just wanted to get out of the forward fold. 

Instead of moving on, I decided to stay where I was.  As I hovered over my disgustingly sweaty mat, my focuse became more clear.  I began to notice where I needed to make small adjustments, and as I made these adjustments I felt how they would inform the arm balance, making me steadier there as well.

It is not an easy thing to stay, or to be steady.  Your endurance starts to give, and uncomfortable sensations build up that make you want to get out - but the real practice is to breathe and stay calm through the discomfort. It might feel like it will never end, but eventually it will.  And when it does, the way you commit to this moment will inform the way you live when it's over, and later when you do decide it's time to move on to the next big thing.

Yes, Ben and I definitely want to have children someday - that's always been part of the plan.  And I know that when we do, it will be because it's the right time for both of us, not because it's just the next logical step for married people.  I also know that our kids will be born on a solid, loving foundation that my husband and I build together, by learning to live deeply in our relationship and stay true when things are difficult.

Instead of always wanting something bigger and better, explore the place where you are more deeply.  You might find that there is more joy, more love, and more to learn.

Sorry that this went from snarking on the knot to cheesy and reflective rambling with basically no segue.

In summary: The Knot needs to settle the F down, and yoga is awesome.

Thai Green Curry

I can hardly believe Ben and I have already been married for six months!... cause it feels like 50 YEARS!!!!

Totally kidding. 

Anyway, we're spending our six-month anniversary...working.  It's almost like our one-month anniversary when we were lying on a beach reading books and drinking beer all day.  Oh wait...that's not the same at all.

So honeymoon.  I never finished doing recaps, because as it turns out, life just keeps happening when you return from vacation and I kept coming up with other things I wanted to write about.  But I DO want to finish writing about the trip...but I also don't want to waste your time.

SO.

Instead of just boring photos and "on this day we blah blah blah," I will wrap up my last two honeymoon recap posts with two recipes!  This first one is an earnest attempt to replicate one of the most amazing meals I've ever had, and the second will be one of the three dishes Ben and I learned to cook at our Thai cooking class.

We begin pur adventure five months ago today....

Ben and I decided that as tempting as it was to spend every single day lying around reading, we should spend at least one day exploring Koh Pha Ngan.  One of our favorite spots to eat on the island also offered a taxi service, so on August 9 we asked our buddy Pu to take us to some of his favorite spots.

The first place we visited was a buddhist meditation center, with an amazing view of the island.

Our next stop was Thongsala, the main village on the island.  It's definitely more touristy than where we stayed - a lot of backpackers and travelers, tons of stores all selling the same kitsch memorabilia, and way more traffic.  One of my favorite parts about international travel is exploring the markets - the variety and freshness is just amazing.

Are those baby sharks??!

We also hiked around the Phong Noi waterfall...which was highly disappointing in that there was no actual water.  I'm assuming this is not normal.

Fail.

When we returned to the hotel, we washed up and got ready for our one fancy/splurge dinner at the hotel in celebration of our anniversary.  Santhiya really went all-out in making us feel special and welcome - they had a table set up in a private corner of the outdoor seating area, decorated with candles and flowers.

The food was great, and the drinks were AMAZING.  I may have had one too many, and was suddenly in the mood to partay so we walked down the beach in hopes of hitting up one of the many bars we'd seen along the road, some of which seemed like they had fun dancing at night.

I don't look sunburned or sweaty at alll.....

PARTAY TIIIIMMME

Sadly there was no party to be found.  Apparently we were the only people who wanted to get our dance on that night, so instead we walked to Rasta Baby, a bar with a chill reggae vibe and hilarious drink names.

But the best food of the day by FAR was lunch!

We'd had some great meals already on Koh Pha Ngan.  The sandwiches at Handsome Sandwich really were as amazing as they claimed to be:

Skepticism

...and the ambiance and drinks at Luna could not be beat...

...but the meal that just blew my mind was an unassuming green curry eaten in a little restaurant at the top of a hill during our tour.

Yes.

It. Was. AMAZING.  The most fragrant, flavorful and perfectly spiced curry I have ever had.  I don't think any thai curry I ever have will top this one in awesomeness.  I've tried in vain several times to re-create the flavors by making my own fresh curry paste at home, playing around with various ratios of lemongrass and kaffir lime leaves... but honestly the closest I've come was using a pre-made paste from our local Thai grocer.  Still not quite the same, because you could just tell the ingredients in the original were fresh as could be, but I think it's the closest I'll get outside of Thailand.

I made this recipe last week, and it took me right back to that hilltop, the peaceful feeling of having nothing to do but lie around in the sun all day, and the freedom of being without my laptop and work e-mail for two weeks.  I hope it can give you the same feeling...but if not, I at least hope it's delicious:

RECIPE: THAI GREEN CURRY
- 1-2 tablespoons canola or coconut oil
- 3 tablespoons green curry paste (I used Aroy-D brand)**
- 1 can light coconut milk*
- 1/3 -1/2 cup water
- 1 tablespoon fish sauce
- a similar volume of cherry eggplants OR other vegetable of your choice, chopped fairly small**
- 6 - 8 thai eggplants, quartered**
- 1/2 block extra-firm tofu***
- 1/3 cup shredded thai basil**
- 5-6 kaffir lime leaves**
- cilantro for garnish (optional)

In a medium soup pot or cast iron pot, heat the oil.  Add the curry paste and sautee for about 2 minutes until quite fragrant.  Add the coconut milk and water and fish sauce, and stir to combine.  Add tofu, eggplants and cherry eggplants, basil and kaffir lime leaves and cook for approximately 12-15 minutes or until thai eggplants are cooked.

Serve over rice, garnish with cilantro

* I used light coconut milk for texture - the green curries I had in Thailand always had a more thin, brothy texture.  It's DEFINITELY not a fat/calories thing...for making Massaman or red curry I'd definitely use regular.

** You'll probably need to go to a thai or asian market for these ingredients.  There's a great one near me on Nicollet...but even they sometimes don't have cherry eggplant so you might have to sub another vegetable.  I used oyster mushrooms chopped into 1/2 inch pieces.  You can get Thai Kitchen brand green curry paste from a regular grocery store but it's WAY more expensive for a much smaller amount.  I picked up a fairly good-sized tub for $1.99.

*** The version I fell in love with had tofu, but if you want meat you could easily sub a similar volume of chicken or a light fish.  The flavors in this curry definitely call for a white meat rather than beef, I think.  You definitely could use beef but...meh, just my opinion :)


For more honeymoon fun:
Part I - Travel and Day 1 in Bangkok
Part II - "Wat's Up" aka more Bangkok
Part III - More Bangkok, more Travel
Part IV - Island Adventures (and illness...)
Part V - More Island Fun

Ridiculous Encounters with Bloggers

It is a well known fact that bloggers will often deem themselves experts in a field in which they hold no actual credentials.  Someone who posts photos of themselves wearing clothes every day is suddenly a fashion "expert."  Another person decides to go to the gym occasionally and now they are a fitness "expert."  You know how it goes.

Why I will never be a "Fashion Blogger"

But what happens when a man possessing a complete inability to read social cues and/or interact appropriately with others dubs themselves a dating expert and coach, and then hits on your friend at Chino Latino?  Let's examine.

A good friend of mine, let's call her "Sarah" was in Uptown the other night having dinner with her friend, who we'll call "Tina."  They were having a perfectly enjoyable evening when suddenly Tina goes: "uh oh... I was just staring off into space and accidentally made reeeeallly awkward eye contact with this guy at the bar, and now he won't stop looking over here."  "Just ignore him," Sarah suggested.  So they did.  Tina, who is married and has a 3-year-old, also made sure to "accidentally" flash her wedding ring in his direction multiple times.

They thought they had thwarted his intentions, but 10 minutes later....
Tina: Oh crap he's coming over.
Dude: (Walks up to table, staring at Tina) YOU... (pauses.  finally sees wedding ring.)...are married.
(turns to Sarah)  But YOU have beautiful eyes!
Sarah: You've been sitting behind me all night.
Dude: Well... I mean, just seeing them now! They are so beautiful!
(long awkward pause)
Dude: (looks at Tina's drink)  Your drink looks amazing.  (it is a super-girly martini with a flower in it).  You know, the bartender here, best bartender in the city.  I wrote an article about him (whips out his smartphone which happens to conveniently already have the article in its browser).  See, here's my article (shoves phone in Sarah's face)
Girls: Mmmmm.....
(another long awkward pause during which any normal human would realize the conversation is over)
Dude: (clearly staring at an area somewhere between Sarah's shoulders and the table)That is awesome, by the way.
Sarah: (Kind of shocked. Forgets she is wearing a necklace. Gestures to her boobs) Uhhh....you mean this????
Dude: Well I actually meant your necklace, but I'm hoping to see those later too. (wink.  haha.  Looks back and forth between Sarah and Tina). Actually I wouldn't mind seeing either of you naked.
Tina: I AM MARRIED.
Dude: Well, you guys seem like really cool people, I'd love to hang out with you sometime, cause you know, you seem really cool.  Here, I'll give you my card.  (Hands card to Sarah)
Sarah: "Chief Coach"?  What are you, like, a life coach?
Dude: Well, sort of...dating coach actually.  I have a blog too (tells her name of blog)
Sarah: Huh.
Dude: I'm just going to put it on the line, you seem awesome and I would love to take you out on a date sometime.  Can I have your number?
Sarah: Well, I have your contact info now (holds up card).
Dude: So...do you want me to call you, or...
Sarah: Um...well...I have your number...so....
Dude: Awesome.  Well, it was great meeting you both.

So there you have it.  For someone who is a self-proclaimed expert in the field of getting the ladies, he crashed and burned in a spectacular manner  Not only was he in no way smooth or sexy, his manner of approaching women (much like his blog, which I have now read most of and laughed until I cried) exhibits an intriguing combination of awkwardness and douchery.

Women love it when you make them feel awkward and objectified

So I guess all I'm trying to say is, before you declare yourself an expert in something just because you blog about it, first ask yourself the following questions:
1) Do people other than my mother tell me I am great at this?
       1) a. Do they do so without me fishing for compliments?  Be honest.
2) Are my efforts in this field usually successful?
3) Do I have enough experience in this to qualify as an "expert," or any credentials that give me actual expert status?

If the answer to the above questions is consistently "no," then you probably should not be dispensing advice to others.

So there you have it.  Encounters with a local dating blogger and expert, who should probably find another vocation.  Hope you all had a lovely weekend!

p.s. "Sarah" - if any of this is inaccurate or if I missed any essential/hilarious details PLEASE e-mail me so I can correct my errors.  I'm sure some things were lost in my re-telling of your re-telling.

Sweet Potato and Red Lentil Soup

Why am I still sick??? 

On Monday I thought I was getting better, but then I sort of plateaued and have been in a steady-state of coughing up green gunk in the shower every morning, feeling tired all day, coming down with an incessant cough around 8:30, going to bed at 9:30, waking up and doing it all over again. 

On Wednesday I went to the convenience store at work to buy cough drops and a box of kleenex.  My conversation with the cashier went something like this:
Him: And how are you doing today?
Me: (in raspy smoker voice) Not too bad, yourself?
Him: (glancing at my purchases) ....better than you, apparently.

Uh, thanks dude.

The good news is, my appetite is back!  And, my appetite wants soup.  All soup, all the time.  Usually my soup preference is for something that is packed full of veggies and different textures, and that is more of a full meal in a bowl (see, Roasted Pumpkin Soup w/ Chickpeas and Curry) ...but this week all I've wanted is something warm and soothing.  And maybe a little spicy to clear my sinuses.



I made some pretty major modifications to my favorite Red Lentil Soup recipe, but ended up with a similar flavor palatte.  Think of this as the puree version of that recipe, with a bit of a tropical kick.  I fell in love with red lentil soup in Turkey, and also picked up the habit of adding citrus there... so I kind of fall back on it a lot.  Plus I always have red lentils in my pantry and they cook quickly, so it's easy to whip a soup together at the last minute with whatever else I have on hand.

p.s. if you make this, DO NOT skip the lime juice!  It kicks the whole thing up about a billion notches.  All the way to 11.
I need to stop watching movies and have a life.

RECIPE: SWEET POTATO AND RED LENTIL SOUP

- 1.5 tablespoons ghee or butter
- 1 medium yellow onion, diced
- 2-3 cloves garlic, minced
- 1/4 - 1/2 teaspoon red pepper flakes
- 1 large sweet potato, peeled and cut into 1/2 inch cubes
- 5 cups chicken or vegetable broth
- 1/2 cup red lentils, rinsed
- 1-2 teaspoons curry powder
- 1/2 cup coconut milk
- 1 teaspoon salt (or salt to taste)
- Fresh squeezed lime juice (for garnish)
- plain yogurt (for garnish)

Melt the ghee or butter in a soup pot on the stove over medium heat.  Add the onion, garlic and red pepper flakes and sautee until just beginning to soften.  Add the sweet potato and cook, stirring frequently, until the onion is fully soft and translucent.

Add the chicken broth and red lentils to the pot.  Cover and simmer for about 25-30 minutes, or until lentils are falling apart and sweet potato is cooked through.  Remove from heat and puree with an immersion blender (or if you don't have one, transfer the whole mess to a blender or food processer, blend and return to the pot.  You can also puree in batches).  Stir in the curry powder, coconut milk, and salt.

Serve garnished with a few squeezes of fresh lime juice and a dollop of plain yogurt.  DO NOT SKIP THE GARNISHES THEY ARE VERY IMPORTANT.  Hem.

Hopefully this damn illness is on the upswing. I did manage to get to the yoga studio last night for the first time in a week, though.  I'm always nervous about getting back to class after a long break from practicing, but every time I'm surprised by how easily I fall back into my practice.  It almost feels like a few days off helps me wipe the slate clean and see poses with fresh eyes.  Handstand and cobra in particular felt brand new poses last night, in a good way.

Anyways, have a wonderful weekend!  I don't have a lot planned but I think that is probably for the best... can't wait to have a couple of days to sleep in.

Happy Friday!

Competitive Charades

At our last team meeting before the holidays, my manager asked everyone on the team what our favorite holiday traditions were.  My answer was no contest - the annual Gorder/Early charades game wins hands down.

My good friend Alex's family (Alex did double-duty as a bridesmaid/violinist at my wedding) and my family have been close for as long as I remember.  Jayne and Jim are basically my second parents.  I'm not sure exactly how this tradition got started but for as long as I can remember, whenever our two families would get together over the holidays we've always played charades...and it has always been kids vs. adults (or now, baby boomers vs. millenials).

Since its inception, however, our once harmless charades night has morphed into a brutal, anything goes showdown where the only goal is to give the hardest clues possible and basically make each other look ridiculous.  There is no score, and the only rule is... well there basically are no rules, except for one very important one: the clues have to be in English (except for names or proper nouns where necessary)

I honestly have no idea how things got so out of hand, but I vaguely remember the turning point as being maybe 10 years ago when Alex's dad had to act out "Orchestra Proficiency Unit Skills," and mimed killing his own daughter for the last word (kill rhymes with skill.  And also she came up with the clue).  Allow me to take you through a quick "Competitive Charades" retrospective.

~ Christmas 2008 ~

Like any good evening, this one begins by lighting a dessert on fire while the two moms fight over a bottle of rum.

Miiine!

Dramatic gesturing and hilarity ensues...

SO CLOSE!!! and yet, so far...

...as well as silly faces...

responsible adults?

...and obviously one of my favorite charades clues of all time:

Jesus Christ

Vampire

Hunter

"...Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter??"
"Yeah, it's a movie."
"Have you seen it...?"
"...yes."

~ Christmas 2009 ~

2009 was glorious, although the photos were less so.  My camera was not cooperative and decided to produce only blurry images, but here they are anyway:

So serious!!

SO INTENSE

My face upon realizing I would have to act out
"The Lebesque Stiljes Integral: A Practical Introduction"

The winning team!
(FYI we have no scoring system - we just always decide we've won)

~ Thanksgiving 2010 ~

Unfortunately I have even fewer AND worse photos from this particular year...but I do have this lovely action shot of Jayne collapsing on the ground in what would appear to be either laughter or frustration:

BOOM

This one of Alex and Karl looking contemplative:

Competitive Charades is no laughing matter...

And, yet another photo of the glorious winners!

Winners at charades.  Winners at life.

And finally...NEW YEARS 2012!  

Now with even more rum, and a better camera

;)

Julianna made sure Mini got a front row seat!

Oh bring us some figgy pudding...

fire + alcohol = dessert?

...let the charades BEGIN!

I think this was a mole...?

The other team got rowdy and out of hand pretty quickly...

My own father blatantly trying to mock and distract me during my turn

I still rocked it

Mom was not amused by her 16 word song clue

Alex was not amused by "Corpus Jurus Secudem"

Still champions.  Now with a mascot.

Our brilliant use of "Several Species of Small Furry Animals Gathered Together in a Cave and Grooving with a Pict" inspired the creation of a new rule: no clues over 10 words.  The parents got pretty belligerent and insisted that we had crossed the line with a 16 word clue.  HOWEVER... they somehow thought it was OK to use "Corpus Jurus Secudem," a clue which is clearly in Latin, thereby violating the original and sacred tenet that all clues must be in English.

MOM I KNOW YOU READ THIS BLOG AND YOUR BLATANT DISREGARD OF CHARADES RULES DOES NOT AMUSE ME.

Moving on.

I feel like the best holiday traditions are often the ones that just develop naturally over time, and are maybe not the most traditional.  I love our Christmas Eve dinner and service, and going downtown for lunch at Macy's, but in my heart competetive charades is always the winner.

What are some of your favorite holiday traditions and memories??