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Tuesday, March 26, 2013

The universe took my car keys

“All the powers in the universe are already ours. It is we who have put our hands before our eyes and cry that it is dark.” - Swami Vivekananda

Life has a funny way of getting us to where we need to be. Remember when you were little and your parents prevented you from making stupid decisions? Like telling you you can't order that third roast beef sandwich at Arby's because it will probably make you puke, or taking take your book away because even through you think we can read while crossing a busy street, they know you will probably die.

(Just me?

Yep. Probably just me. )

When we're little, we don't always have the reasoning skills to understand the difference between what we want and what we need, so our parents make them for us. We might hate them at the time, but later we look back and think "OK that was probably the right call."

A few months ago, I thought I wanted something. I went after it. It didn't work out. I was upset, but part of me also knew that deep down it didn't feel right. The timing was wrong, the direction was wrong, and my motivations were wrong. I was making a decision based on a lot of raw and negative emotion.  I just wanted to get out of the pose because the pose was hard and shitty and I didn't know when the timer would go off, or if it ever would. Basically I was trying to drunk-drive my life and the universe went 'NOPE. Girl you are in no condition.'

So I stayed in the pose. I decided to really commit and be present, and give 100% to being where I was and suddenly everything transformed. Remember that post I wrote a few weeks ago about not giving up on something just because it's hard? Well I suck at taking my own advice. As it turns out, I was already exactly where I needed to be.Thanks Universe.

My mom is from Montana, so I listened to a lot of country music growing up. Lately I can't stop thinking about this Garth Brooks song called "Unanswered Prayers". It's about a guy who goes to a high school reunion with his wife and runs into his old girlfriend. He thinks about how much he wanted her back in the day, how hard he prayed that they would be together, and ultimately how thankful he is that things didn't work out because if they had, he never would have met his wife.
Sometimes I thank God, for unanswered prayers
Remember when you’re talkin’ to the man upstairs
That just because he doesn’t answer doesn’t mean he don’t care
Some of God’s greatest gifts, are unanswered prayers.
Or, put another way:

Oh, you can't always get what you want
But if you try sometimes you just might find
You get what you need

The last few weeks have been one of the most simultaneously humbling and inspiring times of my entire life. So far, 2013 has been one big lesson in what can happen if you just let go of expectations and commit to being where you are.


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