Wedding Recap Part III: "Wait till you see the second act..."

One month ago today, Ben and I said our vows and officially became an old married couple! Although... with the time difference it is actually not the 9th anymore in Thailand so we celebrated yesterday by taking a little trek around the island and having a special anniversary dinner... tonight we're taking Thai cooking classes in town!

Since I already talked so much about the ceremony during the rehearsal, I'll have mostly pictures for this entry.

When we were all finished getting ready, I tried my best to stay hidden away in our dressing room, but since I'm kind of a take charge person and when something gets done I feel this irrational drive to just do it myself, I inevitably ended up outside of the room, and then getting mobbed by excited family members and retreating back into the room. This happened probably 3 or 4 times.

I should also mention that there was some minor dramz on the day of the wedding - Rachel, (who I've already mentioned is an opera singer and has both her undergrad and graduate degrees in vocal performance) came down with a cold that week. She was a little worried but the rehearsal on Friday went so smoothly that we were sure everything would be fine. However, the next morning she woke up and literally had no singing voice. Now, as a singer myself, I know that we singing types can sing through almost any type of illness by working our finely honed technique and breath support - so when we say we have no voice, we really mean we have no voice. I know RT knows what she is talking about, so when she said she couldn't even phonate above her chest voice, I got worried. In my insanity I even suggested that I could be her backup if she couldn't sing... never mind that a) I haven't had a real voice lesson in probably 4 years, b) I had no time to warm up, and c) I sort of had, like, some other things going on at the time.

But Rachel's persistence and determination totally paid off, and after giving her voice some rest, trying to clear some of the gunk out and doing some gentle warming up she could sing again, but still didn't quite have her high notes or her full power. Luckily, Morgen is not a very high or technically difficult piece, so she and Alex decided to rehearse and made it through the whole thing relatively problem-free. They made an executive decision to give it a shot in the ceremony and whatever happens, happens.

Meanwhile in Boe Chapel....

My second cousins, Alli and Caroline, attending the guest book like pros

Ushers: Ben's cousins Anna, Nels, Nat and Eliza

My Grandmother's best friend from college, Betty

When everyone was seated, we all lined up in the Narthex. I tried to stay out of the way but it was tough because I wanted so badly to see everything!

To start the processional, Ben walked his parents down the aisle; then my dad walked my mom down and came back to hang out with me

Right before we walked down the aisle, our organist re-started the processional theme, which had a very regal sound. My dad turned to me with a grin on his face like a little kid and said "I feel like King Arthur!"

Rachel and Alex - the music went off without a hitch

Everything was amazing - but what I really want to share with you is Linz's beautiful sermon (or at least part of it). She started off by pulling out a picture of a group of our friends at a Pizza party during the first week of freshman year. It definitely made me laugh, but it was also so special - as I looked at the photo I realized that probably half of the people in it were sitting (or standing) at our wedding.

She then went on with one of the loveliest wedding sermons I have ever heard (add to her other spectacular qualities that Linz also knows Hebrew...)

I’ve just given Ben & Kristina a picture of them in a group of friends that was taken during our very first week in college. So this picture was taken within a week of their first meeting. I believe we were having a pizza party to celebrate being done with our first week of classes, and I also believe it was the last time any of us ordered pizza from that particular pizza place willingly.

But I brought this photo today not just for fun, but as a reminder of how this all began—as a friendship. And over the years this friendship deepened, evolved, went through transitions and growth periods, and now here we are—celebrating your love for each other, your trust in each other, your respect for each other, and in truth celebrating the incredible promise of your partnership. A partnership and a love that is built on deep, true, abiding friendship.

When we witness your marriage today, all of us here will be doing a lot of remembering—but this is also a day about looking forward. And so I wanted to share a special blessing with you, my friends, for what is and what is to come in your partnership. And it’s actually a blessing from my favorite Psalm, Psalm 118. In the book of Psalms, we have preserved some of the most beautiful examples of Hebrew poetry. And Psalm 118, in my opinion, is one of the finest examples. The verse I want to share with you is Psalm 118:5, which reads as follow: “Out of my distress I called to Lord. The Lord answered me and set me in a broad place.”

Now before I go any further, I want to acknowledge that this doesn’t exactly sound like standard wedding fare. I remember the first time I read this in the English, and I admit it was a big question mark for me. I remember thinking: what exactly is a broad place? Is it the sky? A black hole? Precariously suspended over the grand canyon?

But then, I read this verse in the Hebrew. The word the NRSV Bible translates here as “distress” comes from the Hebrew root zarar, which literally means “narrow” or “constricted.” The NRSV translation of “Broad place” actually comes the Hebrew rahav, which means spaciousness, or expansiveness. So I think that a better translation of this verse would be this: “Out of my narrowness, I called to the Lord. The Lord answered me with spaciousness.” Now that, I can understand.

I can understand that God answers us with spaciousness because of how I feel my spirit unknotting itself when I sit in front of the Pacific Ocean at Sunset. Or how peaceful and beautiful it was to spend a late night watching the Northern Lights on Old Main Hill. And I can understand that God answers us with spaciousness because of what I see in the two of you.

You love each other spaciously. And so my blessing for you, my friends, is that throughout your marriage, you might continue to love each other spaciously: may you always have space in your minds to challenge and learn from each other, may you always have space in your hearts to be with gracious with each other, and may you always have space in your arms to embrace each other. God is with you, and may God continue to meet you with spaciousness. Amen.

I should mention that I am not a particularly religious person - I've written about this before - mostly because I feel like to believe in only one story of what life is all about is to assume that I have all the answers, or that anyone ever can have an answer. In Anusara Yoga the first principle is "Open to Grace." Spaciousness, to me, means living in a way that is open and accepting and seeing the beauty of what is, both in you and in others. It means loving every moment, and having the broad awareness to see that everything is already perfect. There is just as much beauty in a thunderstorm as there is in a sunny day, it is just a different kind of beauty.

If loving spaciously is the same as living spaciously, it means loving each other exactly as we are. This does not mean compromising or "tolerating" or learning to live with each other's faults; it means that recognizing that each part of us, good or bad, is part of what makes up the whole, and the whole is beautiful.

Totally almost lost it during my vows

After the kiss, Uncle John goes "Wait 'till you see the second act!".... I almost died

High fives all around...

....and lots of hugging

The end!

...........

actually not quite :) Party time is next! Stay tuned...

Wedding Recap Part I

Wedding Recap Part II

Wedding Recap Part II: Pre-Ceremony

I tried to think of a more creative title for this part of the recap, but nothing came to me. I was also planning on this entry being about of the whole morning, getting ready AND the ceremony, but as I was choosing which photos to use I realized that the getting ready part of the day took up a LOT of time and created a ton of amazing memories. So, the Pre-Ceremony part of July 9 2011 is getting its own entry, which might actually end up being the longest one.

Quick update on what's up with me and Ben: still in Thailand, still enjoying amazing food, lying in the sunshine, reading a LOT and freaking out over Dexter Season 2.

So, wedding day.

I woke up at my parents house, showered and packed my bag for the day with my shoes, jewlery and random emergency items. Julianna and I loaded both our bags, my dress and her dress into the backseat and took off for our 8am hair appointments.

The only part of planning the wedding that made me regret not hiring a wedding planner was the logistical nightmare of getting all of the girls, whose appointments were at different times, down to the St. Olaf campus without their cars because my dad had hired a limo-bus to drive the entire wedding party from the ceremony to the reception. Finally we worked it out so that I would drive my own car, with one or two other people in it, down to the ceremony. All of the bridesmaids arranged to be dropped off, and my mom and my aunt Gayleen (Alisha's mom) would show up at the salon around 10:30 (when I needed to leave) to chauffeur the remaining bridesmaids and their dresses. My friend Emily also kindly agreed to drive my car from St. Olaf to the hotel parking lot for me so that my car wouldn't end up stranded in Northfield... thank you Emily!!

The hair appointments were kind of a blast! We watched each other get primped, laughed at how ridiculous we looked in various states of done-ness, drank Aveda tea and munched on pastries that Julianna and I had picked up at Taste of Scandinavia Bakery on the way there.

Getting curly

Julianna is waaaay too smiley for 8am

Definitely a good look for Alex

At 10:30 Julianna, Rachel and I were finished so we took off for Northfield. Poor Rachel had to sit in the back underneath my dress because it took up the entire backseat. Sorry RT! We made it to campus just in time for my 11:30 makeup appointment.

One thing about the wedding day that was really tough was staying hydrated! I wasn't as worried about getting enough food - mainly because a) dehydration is a bigger worry especially in the July heat and humidity, and b) this might be waaaaayyy TMI but when I'm anxious my digestive system goes into overdrive. Which can be a problem when you are wearing a poofy white dress and have to go for a substantial amount of time without access to a bathroom. I think you get the picture.

Luckily, fellow Kombucha lover Alex was thoughtful enough to bring me a bottle of Cosmic Cranberry! What a sweetheart.

She also brought one for herself, which I attempted to open for her while she was getting her makeup done. Unfortunately, it was an especially explosive one (if you're a Kombucha drinker you know exactly what I'm talking about...), so one of my most hilarious memories of my wedding day will always be spending about 25 minutes carefully attempting to open a bottle of Botanic No. 3.

It's kind of hidden but you can see me in the back talking to Kristin and battling away with the rogue Kombucha bottle

While I inhaled my Kombucha and made sure everything was set with my vendors, the flowers were delivered and in the right place etc., the bridesmaids finished getting beautified... (or, more beautified than normal I should say because these ladies are ALWAYS gorgeous!)

Alisha

Tess and Julianna

Finishing touches for RT

.......????????

And this, ladies and gentlemen, is why we're friends

After getting all made-up, it was time to put on my dress! I never wrote in detail about my dress shopping experience, but the dress I ended up with was the first dress I tried on. I loved it the second I put it on, and even though I tried on probably 20 others, none of them matched that feeling of being "the one" that I had gotten from that first dress.

The shape was perfect - a modified A-Line, so it is modern but still timeless, and not ballgownish but not a mermaid either, which was exactly what I was looking for. I fell in love with the lace pattern, which was floral without being too girly, and had a gorgeous pattern that continued through the layers of the skirt. Weirdly I wasn't looking for strapless though... I have this weird insecurity about my shoulders and upper arms, which have always been broad and muscular compared to my size and I feel like strapless dresses accentuate my "man shoulders"... but if there was ever a motivation to just suck it up and get over that insecurity it was this dress.

Julianna and Alex helped me into my dress, which despite its delicate appearance is quite substantial and has a ton of layers and aLOT of structure...so consequently it's a pretty heavy item of clothing.

Julianna's "Take No Prisoners" bow-tying stance

So many thanks to these beautiful ladies!

Meanwhile in the groomsmen's dressing room....

Shenanigans!

...and also, Smion using his iphone to find a bow-tying tutorial. The wonders of technology at work.

When we were both finished getting dressed, it was time for our couples shoot! Ben and I had no problem seeing each other prior to walking down the aisle, and Kelly suggested that the schedule would work much better if we did the couples shoot before the ceremony. We still obviously wanted the whole "seeing each other for the first time" thing to be special, so Kelly had Ben stand with his back to the student commons while I walked towards him....

.... and then, he turned around and there were were :)

Someday, I'll write down the story of how Ben and I met, became friends and eventually (much later...) started dating... but for now, sufficed to say that saying our vows on the same college campus where we met ten years ago meant so much to both of us.

Next was the family and wedding party shoot! It took about an hour and a half to get through all of these photos but it was completely worth every second.

A little about these beautiful ladies... from left to right:

Tessa and I have been friends since we were about 7 years old. We bonded over our love of dragons and unicorns in grade school, our strange fondness for going dancing at clubs in the suburbs in high school (still can't believe we went to some of those places...they were shady! And we were sooo naive...), and at St. Olaf we had adventures on campus as well as in Greece and Italy where we roomed together for a study abroad. I'll never forget getting lost in Rome at 3am...oops. After college we were roommates for 3 years before I moved to my own place to be closer to the U when I started school, so it's safe to say that Tessa is one of my oldest and colsest friends.

Alex and I have been friends for a LONG time too - we only went to school together for a year in grade school, but we rode horses together and lived in the same neighborhood which we freely wreaked havoc in...although that havoc was mostly to ourselves and the occasional tree. I can't even imagine the many near-heart-attacks our mom's must have had watching us do backflips off of the "Tarzan Swing" (basically board with a rope tied around the middle, hanging from a tree branch) in Alex's yard. Alex is now a professional violinist playing with the New World Symphony in Miami and graciously lent her talents to the ceremony, as well as doing me the honor of standing next to me as a bridesmaid :)

Julianna is my little sister, and despite being five years apart we are really close. We share the same awkward and occasionally inappropriate sense of humor (thanks dad, for that...) and more than occasionally buy the same t-shirt or bathing suit on separate occasions without even realizing it. We're definitely unique in our own ways but we get each other in the way that only sisters really can. Julianna is finishing up her undergraduate degree in Psychology at St. Thomas and has a job at Fraser working with children with behavioral problems. I can't even tell you how much I admire her... and she's my maid of honor!

Rachel is one of my best friends from St. Olaf - every once in a while you meet a friend where everything just clicks... one of those friends where when they're not around you feel like a part of you is missing, and that's definitely the kind of friend Rachel is. We studied under the same voice teacher, Margaret Eaves-Smith, at St. Olaf and sang our junior half-recitals together (culminating with the sull'aria duet from Mozart's Marriage of Figaro, which I still have on a recording somewhere). RT lives and sings in Boston now, and I miss her like crazy! But I'm so glad she could make it back for the wedding.

Alisha, belive it or not, is my only first cousin! My mom and dad each only have one sibling - my uncle on my mom's side never married or had kids, and my dad's brother and his wife have one daughter, Alisha. The "California Gorders" as they address all of their cards to us, obviously live in California so we get to see them only on rare occasions, but in the last couple of years Alisha has come to visit by herself a few times. It's been so wonderful getting to know her as the lovely young lady she has grown into - she is smart and hilariously funny, and we have a lot of the same interests. I was so honored when she agreed to be a bridesmaid and so glad we got to spend so much time together leading up to the wedding!

...and a little about this motley crew.

Matt is Ben's older brother. Matt and his wife Julia also met at St. Olaf, and they just recently moved from Chicago to Washington, DC where they now live with their adorable little baby Lillian! Matt is a great guy and I'm sad he and Julia don't live closer, but I guess this just means that some fun trips out east are in our future :)

Simon is Ben's younger brother. In one of life's great ironies, Ben and I actually tried to set Simon and Julianna up during college because we thought they would get along so well - they did, as it turns out, but only as friends which is probably for the best considering how things turned out.... Simon is a fantastic musician (how do we know all these music people??) - be sure to check out his facebook page.

Chris is a great friend of Ben's (of both of ours actually) from St. Olaf - all three of us were actually in that first class together in Holland Hall, and Ben and Chris spent much of their college years running the improv comedy club "Scared Scriptless", speaking in silly accents and learning to teach small children and turn them into their minions. Today they pretty much do the same thing, only Chris has moved his operations to Paraguay where he teaches Psychology and Philosophy at an international boarding school. When Ben and I take over the world, Chris will be our second-in-command, provided we equip him with the necessary Attack Zebras. And yes, he is insanely tall. 6'5". The rest of us are not as short as we look.

Krista is a lifelong friend of Ben's from Great Falls, Montana, where he grew up. I had never met her before the wedding but now I'm pretty sure she is one of my favorite people on the planet.

The whole gayng!

And oh yeah, we both have families! Parents! And such.

My family: sister Julianna, parents Diane and Mark

with Ben's family: brothers Matt and Simon, parents Bekka and Bruce

... And now that I've succeeded in probably putting everyone to sleep I'm going to take a break before getting to the actual ceremony :) Tomorrow is our one month anniversary, so we're planning some special & fun things (not that lying around on the beach all day isn't special and fun...).

Also, I realized that I've thought about work for probably a total of less than 2 minutes since I've been here. I was worried that I would spend my whole vacation worrying about the 500 emails that are inevitably piling up in my inbox, but I've barely given them a second thought. I'll deal with it when I get back but for now I'm just going to enjoy the sun and the beach, and this amazing time with my husband :)

Wedding Recap Part 1: Practice Makes Perfect

But first a special announcement! Well, two actually.

Announcement 1: Since I can't upload photos in Thailand and probably won't be able to until I get home, instead of writing ridiculous and useless nuggets about mangosteen (see previous posts) with pictures I got from Google Images and the computer camera at my hostel, I will spend the next week and a half recapping the wedding! I wanted to do this anyways, and now I have a week with nothing else to write about - perfect timing. These are mostly for my own nostalgia so I can read them again later but I hope they're at least somewhat interesting :) When I get home and can upload my photos, I'll recap the honeymoon!

Announcement 2: My cousin Alisha, who was in my wedding, is a published author! She is interning at a local magazine this summer and wrote a great article about calorie info at chain restaurants. Since I know all of you guys are interested in health and nutrition, I'm posting the link to her article here. So proud of my little cuz!

OK so here begins the wedding recap.

Hem hem.

After the bachelorette party, I woke up on Friday morning feeling inexplicably anxious. My sister Julianna and my aforementioned cousin Alisha, who got to be in town and hang out with us for most of the week, spent the night at my place after the bachelorette, so the three of us went to yoga to de-stress before the rehearsal.

I can't really explain why I was so nervous, other than the fact that I'd suddenly realized the weight of making sure all 185 of our guests had an amazing time was on my shoulders. Granted, I'm the type of person who tends to feel like everything is on my shoulders anyways, but since Ben and I chose to forgo a wedding planner and do everything ourselves, I was suddenly worried we'd made a terrible mistake and had overlooked something crucial.

I felt on edge all through lunch with Ben's friend Krista and her boyfriend Paul (Krista was a groomswoman in the wedding, and is also now one of my favorite people on the planet), and as I was frosting cupcakes at home before the rehearsal (like I said, I crazy over-committer). When the four of us piled into Ben's car to drive down to Northfield for the rehearsal, I was beginning to understand why brides sometimes take a little something to relax before the big day. Not that I would ever do that....

I'm not sure how, but the second I walked into the chapel all of my fears melted away. The first person I saw was Lindsey Reed - Lindsey is one of my best friends from college, and was my roommate for a year after graduation. Linz has her Masters in Divinity from the Pacific School of Religion in Berkely, has a job as a real-life hospital chaplain and is about to become ordained in the Presbyterian church! We keep in touch on skype and e-mail but hadn't seen each other in person for three years! It was quite a joyous reunion.

Linz is honestly one of the most amazing people I know, and I can't even begin to say how honored I was to have her as a co-officiant for our ceremony. Ben's great uncle John, who has been ordained for a looonnng time, was there to do the legit marriage pronouncement part so that Linz wouldn't get in trouble, since she is not officially ordained yet.

We all lined up at the back of the chapel, and when our organist started the processional and the wedding party began their march down the aisle, I felt a sudden rush of reality wash over me - this is my wedding! I mean, obviously it wasn't actually my wedding yet, but after imagining for a year how this was going to feel, nothing could have prepared me for actually seeing it happen, even in a rehearsal.

Best Man and Maid of Honor, giving the royal wave.

Side note: evidently the event managers at the chapel do not understand fun. We got yelled at for our shenanigans, which included skipping and running during the recessional. "Too fast," apparently. Who knew.

I also realized how much I loved the way we had organized our ceremony - totally worth all the effort we put into planning it. Alex and Rachel, two of my best friends (and bridesmaids) performed Morgen by Richard Strauss - one of my favorite pieces, and also a favorite of my grandmother who passed away five years ago, so for me it was a special way to remember her and to celebrate my amazingly talented friends.

So many of the people we care about were involved in the ceremony, that it really felt like a celebration of love with our whole family - the families we were born into, as well as the family we have built over time through love and friendship. With Linz and John as co-officiants, Rachel and Alex as musicians, and our good friends Evan (mentioned here), Katie (mentioned in this post) and Kathy, and readings we picked based on the literature we love, the ceremony felt that much more meaningful.

After the rehearsal we drove back up to Minneapolis for the rehearsal dinner. Ben's parents generously offered to host, and served Indian food catered by Bombay Bistro, our favorite Indian restaurant in downtown Minneapolis.

I really think the backyard rehearsal dinner is the way to go - the vibe was so relaxed and laid back, and it was much easier to mingle and talk to people. Sitting at a table with all of our friends, I felt like I was back in college in a good way. The best friendships are the ones you grow with and that grow with you - and I have more of those than a girl could ever ask for.

After things started to slowly wind down, I said goodbye to everyone and took off for my parents' house, where I had decided to spend the night before the wedding. Ben walked me to my car to say goodnight, and it felt like our first date all over again - nervous and excited, but still confident and secure.

Contrary to what I expected, I fell asleep right away, knowing that regardless of whether everything went totally according to plan, tomorrow would be amazing.

Ack

Well hi everyone! It would appear that I can't upload any pictures from my camera onto blogger at all while I'm here, and also I only have 2 minutes to write this post.

Instead I will tell you about one of my favorite things in Thailand - Mangosteen! Despite what it sounds like, a mangosteen is NOTHING like a mango. It is a little fist-sized reddish brown thing with a thick, kind of sticky peel and white segments of fruit. But even though it looks weird, it is extremely delicious.

One minute. OK. How to eat a mangosteen:

1) Peel the mangosteen
2) eat it

That's all I have time for... catch you soon:)